Bullsh*t Notion of Having It All
Doesn't everyone want it all? Isn't that the point? Isn't that what the meaning of life is all about? And if this notion has inspired countless books, songs, movies and adventures then why are mothers still being challenged for embarking on their own search for it?
I don't get it and, to be honest, a bit over the amount of time dedicated to discussing whether women can have it all. (And yes, I do see the irony in writing a piece on it, but I have to have a say.)
I am currently in the throes of desperately trying to have it all. By all I mean fitness, friendship, healthy family relationships and tummies, a clean house, a happy home, a flutter at a new career, the comfort of an old career, enough sleep, laughter, adventure and lots of love.
It's a bit of a struggle.
To make some of these things happen, either for me or for those around me, other things have to be given up, or sacrificed or just done really badly. Friends get neglected, my heart rate only rises at dinner time as the healthy food gets piffed across the table, or just pushed aside, (see clean house and happy home above), the turmoil of leaving small children in daycare overwhelms most of the benefits of accomplishing any kind of paid work and there is never enough sleep.
But isn't this what everyone is doing? Kids or not? Male or female? Single, married, studying, employed, young, old? Isn't this just called life?
I have always had a sense of 'the something elses'. You know, I am doing this but I could be doing something else… another degree, the next step of my career, an overseas adventure, a sea change; most of which I have had a crack at. And I am certainly not alone, lots of my friends are the same, renovating houses, travelling to remote places, fitting a bit of paid work in between caring for little munchkins.
I also think men do this too, and young singles, and empty nesters, everyone who wants to gets the most out of whatever opportunity they have in front of them. Whether it be chasing exotic, warm, uncrowded waves, or having something or someone to call their own, or reinventing themselves. Isn't everyone chasing the key that unlocks the next stage of happiness in their lives?
And I don't think this should have the negative connotation of having it all, I think this is what a fulfilled life is about. It is all a balance, for everyone. A balance between needs and wants, dreams and reality, the affordable and the unattainable.
Sometimes we tip the scales in our favour, and sometimes we fall off in a screaming heap.
And you don't need to be a mother with children to be walking the tightrope; you just need to get back on.
Laura writes the hilariously honest parenting blog, Poo, Spew and Superglue on Aussie Blogs, poospewandsuperglue.wordpress.com. She is raising two small hell raisers, with the third, and final, and scariest, having just arrived to really make things interesting. She lives in Jan Juc and will be a regular commentator on the beauty of parenting (snort) in Ruby magazine.